I'm Sorry Magelet
by Daine of the Wolves
Summary: Twist in ROTG. Please don't hate me. You'll see why I did this later. Please review. Rated M for some sexual refrences. I'm not sure its that bad, but I want to be safe.
1. I Don't Love You

This scene takes place during ROTG, during Falling. There are exact quotes from the book, so don't sue me. The characters and main plot for ROTG is Mrs. Pierce's, but the twist is all mine. I will skip some of the lines.

_Numair's opponent was the last to die. When the immortal sank to the ground, head crushed, the webs on Daine turned to liquid and flowed away. She was free._

_"Numair?" _

_He stood motionless, his back to her, leaning on his staff. He appeared to be staring at the dead spidren. _

_Frightened, the girl dragged herself to her knees, then to her feet. Upright, she swayed. "Please, are you alright?" _

_He turned. "You- you're alive. I thought. . ."_

_She staggered over to him. "I hurt to much to be dead."_

_Dropping the staff, Numair swept her up in his arms; hers went around his neck. He stoked her back, Daine buried her fingers in his hair. Pulling away, she tried to get a proper look at him. Theirs eyes met for a breathless moment as heat surged through her body. Then his mouth was on hers, his breath warmly mingling with her own. _

_---_

_Numair had brought them to a hollow under a rock shelf in the canyon wall. The mage dozed against the wall. Creating a head, Jelly squeaked, "Food done."_

_Nuamir woke up. "Very good." Glancing at Daine, he blushed and looked away. _

Daine stared at him. She hadn't expected _that_ of all things. "_How in the name of Shakith did you find me?"_

_"It was merely a simple magic, Daine-"_

_"Mouse manure. D'you think I've lived all this time with mages without __**knowing **__what it takes to find somebody__** and**__ go to them?"_

_"I had a focus," he mumbled._

_"A focus? Something of mine to connect us?"_

_"Yes- and I'm glad I had it."_

_"Yes- but may I see it?"_

_The locket fell into her palm. "I thought you might laugh if I asked you to sit for a portrait. The painting was done by Volney Rain. The hair I got when you were delirious with unicorn fever six monthes ago. _

_"What happened to you? What about those rock things?"_ She was trying to change the subject.

_"The carried me off. I used my gift to shield myself, but it took them some time to find out __**I**__ was the source of their pain. Once they did, I fled. When I returned to the Chaos vent and realized that you had gone over the cliff-" He swallowed hard._

_You can thank a number of trees and a deep part of the river that I'm reasonably alive." _

_She sat next to him, inching over until he was forced to raise his arm. "You're trembling," she murmured._

_"I'm only tired. I used my entire Gift to reach you."_

_"You shouldn't have. You need it to defend yourself- and we still have to reach the Sea of Sands." _

_"If I'd lost you and kept my power, I would hate myself. Eventually magic returns, even after a draining. I had no way to know if __**you**__ would. "_

_"It would take more than falling off a cliff to keep me from you."_

_He kissed her again. "I'd hoped you felt that way."_

What way? Daine wondered.

_"I should look at your cuts."_

_Gingerly- even her bones ached- she lifted the hem of her shirt._

_"__**Daine**__!"_

_"What?"_

_"You- We're aren't- You should be clothed! I feel like I'm taking advantage of your innocence. It's easy for an experienced man to delude a young woman into thinking herself in love with him. it's the basest kind of trickery, even when the man does not intend it."_

_"Do you love me or not?"_

_"That is __**not**__ the topic under discussion." _

_"What are we talking of, then? Canoodling?" The girl asked._

_"Daine! Is that what you think I want?" He demanded, outraged. "__**Sex**__?" Despite his dismay and fury, the hand that ointment on her was gentle._

_"It isn't?" _What else could you want?

_Swinging to face him, she searched his eyes; when they met hers, she knew she'd hurt him. But how? She thought, baffled. Perin only wanted to bed her, as few Snowsdale men had bedded her mother. Then, she knew. Grabbing the hand with the bracelet, she held the locket. A lover's token, she'd thought before. She had been right. "You're in love with me?"_

(Okay, here's the twist) Daine tried to deny the possibility. But when Numair looked away, she knew. She closed her eyes.

She couldn't do this. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I can't return those feelings."

He turned to stare at her, his face a mix of horror and sorrow.

"I love you, but not like that! You're like family. This- this isn't right. I'm sorry. I can't do this. If it wasn't love, I **might** have been okay with it. But I don't love you. I can't do this."

Her friends eyes darkened with a pain that would never leave them. "I knew that you couldn't feel the same way," he said softly. "But I hoped-" Daine shook her head. He sighed. "I'm sorry. I did try not to do this. But I almost lost you and-" he stopped. "I lost it."

Daine stared. "How long?" she pulled out of his arms and backed away. "How long have you been hiding this?"

He looked away. "Since Mid-Winter."

She blanched. "Oh Gods. No. No! You can't feel this way!" She exploded. "We were friends!" Tears streaked down her face. "Why couldn't you leave it like that?" She took her head in her hands, trying to calm down. She took a deep breath, then asked, "Can you forget about it? Stop it? Use a spell to make the feeling go away? We could still just be friends if you can-"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry Magelet. I can't help the way I feel. I tried. No matter what, now we'll both how I feel." He shook his head.

"Then we can't even be friends." The mage stared at her, eyes wide. "I can't. I can't I can't I can't!"

Numair closed his eyes. He'd ruined their friendship, and lost his love. She would never love him. He'd lost his Magelet.


	2. Should Have Been

Daine managed to say that she going for a flight without actually looking at her teacher.

The mage didn't respond. He just continued to stare at the river that ran by their temporary shelter. He fought the desire to throw himself into it, despite his heart arguing that it would be less pain.

An idea formed in his mind. If he could see what might have happened if she had loved him…

No. His mind refused to let his heart take control. It would cause more pain. But with each beat of his heart it ached more. Finally he gave up and searched for the image he wanted within the icy waters.

_Daine giggled as she threw a snowball at Numair. He ducked, laughing. _

_"Veralidaine Sarrasri, I'll get you for that!"_

_She grinned at him. "Still can't remember my new name, can you?"_

_He smiled, eyes burning with a deep love. "Veralidaine Sarrasri Salamlin," he murmured, loving the taste of her name. She was, after all, his now._

_Daine took this moment of distraction to throw another snowball and hide behind a tree. Her teacher laughed and ran after her. _

_She darted in between trees, eyes bright. Numair caught her up from behind, arms around her waist. The girl laughed, snuggling up to him. _

_He smiled, then turned her so that he could kiss her. It was deep, and full of heat. And love._

_"You're not supposed to be running, Magelet."_

_"Did I ever mention how much I love it when you call me that? Or how much I love you?"_

_"All the time. Still not often enough."_

_Daine looked so happy there. "I love being called that, and I love you." She declared, giving him a quick kiss._

_"And I'm only about a month pregnant. I can still do all sorts of things?"_

_The mage got a mischievous look in his eyes. "Like?"_

_Daine grinned and stood on her tiptoes to whisper into her husbands ear._

_His eyes lit up. She stepped back grinning. _

_"Ma!" A girl called. Daine turned. _

_"What is it, Sarra?" No one called Sarralyn Salmalin by her full name._

_A girl of about three waded over to them, followed by a blue dragon about the same size.. She was holding a rather sorry looking snowball and beaming like it was a jewel. She had her mother's chin, and her fathers eyes. Her hair was also her mothers, and her skin a mix of both parents. _

_"Da! Look!" That was almost the extent of her vocabulary. Numair smiled and lifted his daughter up in his arms. The other went around Daine, who was holding Kit. He kissed his little daughter on the top of her head. She giggled._

The image shattered. Numair stepped back from the water, feeling worse then ever. That was more than what he'd wanted. It had seemed so perfect…

"What about my life now? When she doesn't love me?" He asked aloud.

_Numair Salmalin looked out the window in his study. It overlooked a courtyard covered in a fluffy white blanket of snow. The sight he saw was not a happy one. Not for him at least._

_Daine and her new husband, a knight who met her when he was a squire, were walking through the courtyard each holding a little girl's hand. She was blonde like her da, and had Daine's chin. Her da's green eyes were bright in her pale face. _

_Her father and mother lifted her up at the same time. She squealed at being up so high. Daine smiled. The child's blue shadow wanted to try, too._

_The wild mage set her daughter down to lift the dragon.. The three year old stumbled over to a large snow drift, working hard to gather a handful She sculpted it to make a sorry-looking snowball, which she displayed proudly. _

_He da tousled her hair, then lifted her into his arms. Daine tucked herself under the arm not supporting little Sarra. Kit was in her arms. _

_The mage watching them had never gotten over a love for his friend. He never married or had children. He didn't want to unless the girl was Her and the children Hers._

Numair pulled himself out of the vision, feeling numb. The visions were so close... and yet so different. That child should have been his. The man with his arm around Daine should have been him. But it wasn't. And it would never be.


	3. love

"NO!" Veralidaine Sarrasri awoke to the yell. The man in bed next to her was sitting up straight, pouring sweat. He was breathing hard, and his dark brown eyes were opened wide.

"Numair?" The girl asked with a frown. She moved over in bed, gripping the mage's arm tightly, but not tightly enough to bruise. "Are you alright?" she asked, concerned.

He stared at her for a moment, then suddenly smiled. He nodded, eyes never leaving her.

"Good. Lie back down. You're stealing the covers." She looked relieved to know he was alright. Numair lay down beside her, pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly. She grinned and snuggled up against him, inhaling that smell she loved. Being near that man she loved.

The mage nuzzled his friend's hair gently, catching her lavender-musk scent. He smiled, content. This was all he'd wanted.

She grinned as he began kissing her neck, slowly traveling down her body. She loved him being here with her. Every day she was grateful that she'd fallen off that cliff because otherwise he wouldn't have kissed her. Grateful that he loved her.

When his mouth traveled below her waist, she couldn't suppress a moan. He was the only man that she'd ever wanted to be in the position he was in with her.

His lips traveled back up her body, lingering on her neck and mouth. Daine smiled. He was certainly the only man she wanted to do _this _with.

---

Daine looked up at her lover, gasping. She was smiling though. "Goddess. Where did _that _come from?"

He smiled down at her. "I'm just so lucky to have you," he whispered, "I'm just happy that we're in love. That this happens. That you're mine."

The wildmage smiled back. "Alright. As romantic as that sounds, that doesn't explain it. You've never done it like _that_ before."

"Like what?"

The girl just shook her head. "That was the best we've ever…" she trailed off. "And what was that earlier?"

"Just a dream, Magelet. Just a dream."

"Must've been a nightmare," Daine muttered.

"What does it matter if I wake up to a dream? To a girl so perfect she cannot be anything but a dream?"

Daine shook her head, unable to hide her smile. She snuggled up to her lover, tucking her head under his. She was asleep before she heard him whisper, "Magelet, I'm sorry for keeping you here. You deserve better."

The girl snuggled closer, a smile on her face. The mage grinned. "I love you Magelet."


End file.
